Part of my journey as a recovering ACOA is trying to become more transparent. This isn’t easily. Growing up under a cloud of shame and pain caused my heart to become hard as a child. I pretended my father was not an embarrassing ‘fall down’ drunk. I did this by ignoring him as much as possible. And to the outside world, I pretended that my family life was ‘normal’. This façade followed me into adulthood and became a metaphorical mask that I have wore for decades.
I’m now trying to live my life with an unveiled face. This process is hard because it requires me to be exposed; not pretending, not acting like I’ve got it all together, not watering down where I have been, or like it was no big deal. Although I want to change, I still struggle in many areas in my life. But through prayer I know I will be victorious.
Hi, I’m Liz Hawkins and I’m a recovering Adult Child of an Alcoholic.