Since learning about the ACOA laundry list about three years ago, I go back and check it from time to time to see if I have made any major improvements. I see that my sense of over-responsibility stills tends prevent me from having fun.
I guess on some level I am still angry because so many events and holidays growing up were sabotaged by the alcoholics in my family, I don’t expect to have fun. I also feel guilty if I want to spend time by myself doing what I want to do because of my responsibility to assist my mother on the daily basis due to her advanced age and visual impairment.
I’m not blaming my upbringing or current situation with my mother. I have the ability to change those things that are within my power. But when certain attributes are so well ingrained into the fabric of your being, it manifests itself as a part of your make up.
I know that I must constantly remind myself that I am free to have fun and not be anxious of the possibility of that fun being ruined.
Hi, I’m Liz Hawkins, and I’m a recovering Adult Child of and Alcoholic.