A third core issue is avoidance of feelings. In the alcoholic family, the child’s expression of feelings is typically met with censure, disapproval, anger, and rejection.
Often the child is told explicitly, “Don’t you dare say that to me; don’t even think it,” or “Don’t upset your mother. You have to be more understanding.” In other words, children of alcoholics are taught very early that it is necessary to hide their feelings. Hiding their feelings leads to not even have any feelings as they master the art of repressing, denying, or minimizing them.
I relate to the avoidance core issue very well. I have avoided conflict and anything I deem hard like the plague all of my life. And it has stunted by emotional growth. Thankfully, I’m learning to face my fears more every day.
Hi, I’m Liz Hawkins, and I’m a recovering Adult Child of an Alcoholic.