I would describe myself as an escape artist. If I can avoid a difficult or uncomfortable situation, I will. My favorite escape is zoning out in front of the television eating my favorite sugary or salty snacks. Dr. Susan Biali describes this as numbing out.
What I am essentially doing is constantly stimulating my senses in order not to have to deal with the everyday stresses of life. And doing so is very addictive. I’m learning to stop hiding behind the distractions and allow myself time where I can just be and feel, even if those feelings are uncomfortable, in an effort to re-awaken my life.
Hi, I’m Liz Hawkins, and I’m a recovering Adult Child of an Alcoholic.
Many ACOAs tend to be people-pleasers; we are just too nice. Inevitably we just want to be loved and needed by others but this results in suppressing tons of uncomfortable emotions like bitterness, annoyance, and grief.
I tend to put myself under extreme pressure in order to ‘keep up appearances.’ One of the worst things about constantly being nice is the pressure I put on myself to maintain my self-image. It feels good to constantly be on people’s good sides and avoid negative feelings. But this, dare I say “addiction” comes at a price: chronic stress. Often the stress is invisible, but it’s always there, always demanding that I keep my mask strapped on even though it might be suffocating me.
A wise person recently advised me to take more time for me and less for others. Doing this won’t make me a bad person, and I can finally remove that suffocating mask and breathe.
Hi, I’m Liz Hawkins and I’m a recovering Adult Child of an Alcoholic.