Sexual Compulsivity

“Many adult children have struggled with sexual compulsivity that has brought great sorrow and a hellish isolation from society.”

We isolated ourselves, even when we were with others. Our bodies did not belong to us, even though we didn’t think of it that way. We found ourselves in sticky situations, being sexual with people we didn’t like. Afterwards we felt sick. The feeling of being raped again came up but we didn’t know where it came from. We were sure that nothing had really happened to us because when we were children our protectors said that it didn’t, or it was no big deal. We wanted to believe them. We wanted to hold onto the fantasy that we were loved and care for.

As we recover, we learn to treat ourselves, including our bodies, with respect. We don’t let others touch us when we don’t want to be touched. We realize that having sex outside of a committed relationship may be unsafe for us. We know that we can stop being sexual at any time with our loved one when feelings come up that need attention.

On this day I realize that healthy sex comes from trust and respect with a person that I love and who loves me back. I know they love me, not just because they say so, but because they show me by how they treat me.

Source: Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA), Big Red Book, page 247

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